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I thought I knew a lot about God . . . and then I became a mother.

Becoming a parent expanded my understanding of God exponentially. First, marveling at a child being knit together in my womb, the holy privilege of tending Godā€™s mysterious miracle. Then the joy of actually (finally!) meeting and holding this little being, a unique combination of my husband and me and generations before us.

I still remember her screams when I accidentally nicked her fingers while attempting to trim her tiny nails.

But along with the joy came a great sense of responsibility: the weight of care. This tiny baby now depended on me for nourishment and protection. I still remember her screams when I accidentally nicked her finger while attempting to trim her tiny nails. Help! I needed so much wisdom and skill to do this child-raising properly.

That need for expertise only grew as our family expanded. Our second daughter arrived with an astonishingly different temperament than her sister. To my chagrin, I could not coast on my previous parenting ā€œsuccessā€ā€”now exposed as mainly myth. Instead, I had to find fresh resources to navigate these new challenges.

I realized that, as hard as I might try to be Supermomā€”all-seeing, all-powerful, all-knowingā€”I could not guarantee the safety or eternal wellbeing of our children. Even while I slept, anything could happen to them, let alone when they would leave the nest as fledgling kindergartners! And here is exactly where I learned more about Godā€”who is all-seeing, all-powerful, all-knowing. Over time I learned to entrust our children more fully to God, the loving parent who is not limited in any way by time, place, or circumstances.

I also realized that I too had a deep need to be parented by God on this journey of nurturing children. Day by day I required so much more wisdom than I hadā€”and only God could provide the wisdom I needed. Because God promises to be a generous dispenser of wisdom to those who seek and ask, my seeking and asking increased.

And I read with new wonder the scriptural images of God as a tender parent. One who gathers and shelters offspring like a mother hen, covering them with feathers (Ps. 91:4). One who is familiar with the intimacy of nursing young ones until they are satisfied (Isa. 66:11). One who teaches toddlers to walk by holding their hands and bends down to feed them (Hos. 11:3-4). One who does the hard work of discipline. Who knows the pain not only of rebellion and rejection, but also of profound loss. A parent who is working to make all things well again.

All of usā€”those who are parents and those who feel keenly our own need to be parentedā€”have much to learn from God, the parent who never leaves us.

Reflection

My own life as a wife and mother, daughter and friend, has taught me to see God hidden in the ordinary, to watch for God under the surface of things as a fisherman watches for fish.

ā€”Deborah Smith Douglas

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