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My family visited the Netherlands for spring break and toured Keukenhof Gardens just as the spring flowers were starting to bloom. I was trying to explain to my youngest son that the daffodils and hyacinths bloom first and then different varieties of tulips start to bloom. I said, “You see, Asa, God designed the flowers so that some bloom early and some bloom later.â€

He replied, “You’d think God would make some that bloom right on time!â€

—Carol Bremer-Bennett

Q: Who is the best comedian in the Bible?

A: Samson. He brought down the house.

—Maddy Janecek

During circle time in Little Lambs class, I was telling the story of the prodigal son. I explained that the son had wasted all his money and had to find work feeding the pigs. I had just finished saying that he was so hungry that he wanted to eat the pigs’ food when one 3-year-old piped up, “Well, he could have had bacon.â€

—Joanne Oosthoek

How about the guy who quit his job at the doughnut factory?

He was fed up with the hole business.

—R. Smit

Our 5-year-old great-grandson was a guest at a friend’s house for dinner. As his friend’s mother set out pancakes on the table, she asked him, “Does your mother ever serve pancakes for dinner?â€

His response?

“No, my mom can tell time.â€

—Rose Vander Vliet

I hate it when people used big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.

—R. Klajnscek

Many years ago I was looking after my then 5-year-old grandson Tom and took him for a visit to my colleagues. On the way home he proudly told me that his brother Owen knew how to spell his name: TOMME.

“No,†I said, “your name is spelled TOMMY.â€

“Oma,†he insisted, “it is °Õ°¿²Ñ²Ñ·¡.â€

I replied that I was pretty smart and knew how it should be spelled.

Then Tom said, “Oma, God is much smarter than you and he has my name written in the clouds: °Õ°¿²Ñ²Ñ·¡.â€

How could I argue with that?

—Mary Van Delft

Did you hear the one about the man who ordered a self-help DVD called “How to Handle Disappointment�
When the package arrived, he eagerly opened it.
It was empty.

—Dick Bylsma

Two bacteria walk into a bar.
The bartender said, “Get out! We don’t serve bacteria in this bar.â€
The two bacteria protested: “Hey, wait a minute. We work here! We’re staph.â€

—L. De Boer

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