My family visited the Netherlands for spring break and toured Keukenhof Gardens just as the spring flowers were starting to bloom. I was trying to explain to my youngest son that the daffodils and hyacinths bloom first and then different varieties of tulips start to bloom. I said, “You see, Asa, God designed the flowers so that some bloom early and some bloom later.â€
He replied, “You’d think God would make some that bloom right on time!â€
—Carol Bremer-Bennett
Q: Who is the best comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson. He brought down the house.
—Maddy Janecek
During circle time in Little Lambs class, I was telling the story of the prodigal son. I explained that the son had wasted all his money and had to find work feeding the pigs. I had just finished saying that he was so hungry that he wanted to eat the pigs’ food when one 3-year-old piped up, “Well, he could have had bacon.â€
—Joanne Oosthoek
How about the guy who quit his job at the doughnut factory?
He was fed up with the hole business.
—R. Smit
Our 5-year-old great-grandson was a guest at a friend’s house for dinner. As his friend’s mother set out pancakes on the table, she asked him, “Does your mother ever serve pancakes for dinner?â€
His response?
“No, my mom can tell time.â€
—Rose Vander Vliet
I hate it when people used big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.
—R. Klajnscek
Many years ago I was looking after my then 5-year-old grandson Tom and took him for a visit to my colleagues. On the way home he proudly told me that his brother Owen knew how to spell his name: TOMME.
“No,†I said, “your name is spelled TOMMY.â€
“Oma,†he insisted, “it is °Õ°¿²Ñ²Ñ·¡.â€
I replied that I was pretty smart and knew how it should be spelled.
Then Tom said, “Oma, God is much smarter than you and he has my name written in the clouds: °Õ°¿²Ñ²Ñ·¡.â€
How could I argue with that?
—Mary Van Delft
Did you hear the one about the man who ordered a self-help DVD called “How to Handle Disappointment�
When the package arrived, he eagerly opened it.
It was empty.
—Dick Bylsma
Two bacteria walk into a bar.
The bartender said, “Get out! We don’t serve bacteria in this bar.â€
The two bacteria protested: “Hey, wait a minute. We work here! We’re staph.â€
—L. De Boer